Why married couples argue and quarrel? Is it common to fight in a couple’s life? If so why? Or how serious is the conflict? Did the first man (Adam) and woman (Eve) or the first couple on this planet argue and quarrel at any time? If so, when did they do so?
A few days ago, I came across the latest research studies published in “Science Daily” and “Business Insider” with the title “how ugly marital spats might open the door to disease,” and “married people have a much lower risk of heart disease and stroke than singles, divorcees, or widowed people,” respectively.
Science Daily stated that according to Ohio State University (Behavioral Medicine) research studies, “married people who fight nastily are more likely to suffer from leaky guts — a problem that unleashes bacteria into the blood and can drive up disease-causing inflammation.”
For this study researchers at Ohio State recruited and surveyed 43 healthy married couples about their relationships and then encouraged them to discuss and try to resolve a conflict likely to provoke strong disagreement. Touchy topics included money and in-laws. Then the researchers compared blood drawn pre-fight to blood drawn post-fight.
Results of blood analysis indicated that men and women who demonstrated more hostile behaviors during the observed discussions had higher levels of one biomarker for leaky gut — LPS-binding protein — than their mellower peers. Evidence of leaky gut was even greater in study participants who had particularly hostile interactions with their spouse and a history of depression or another mood disorder.
As per the leaky-gut study, the researchers found a strong, significant link between hostility and the biomarker LBP, which indicates the presence of bacteria in the blood. And there was a strong link between that biomarker and evidence of inflammation. Compared to participants with the lowest LBP, those with the highest LBP had 79 percent higher levels of C-reactive protein, the primary biomarker of inflammation.
The conclusion of this study indicates that depression poor marriage, and bacteria in the blood driving up inflammation could potentially contribute to poor mental and physical health.
Regarding heart disease and stroke in married people and singles topic published in the Business Insider, indicated a study conducted by scientists from Keele University in the UK and Macquarie University in Sydney, showed that married people have a significantly lower risk of suffering from heart disease or a stroke than singles, divorced, or widowed people.
According to this article, “the researchers evaluated 34 existing studies on cardiovascular diseases between 1963 to 2015, looking at the data of more than two million people aged between 42 and 77 from Europe, the Middle East, North America, and Asia.
The researchers found that singles have a 42% higher risk of cardiovascular disease and a 55% higher probability of having a stroke than married people. However, widowed or divorced people have a somewhat lower risk of getting such diseases than those who have never been married before.”
As per this research study results, scientists have now discovered one’s marital status is a significant risk factor in heart disease and strokes.
As a family man, when I read these published articles it made me think deeply as to why we have quarrels, arguments, and fights in a couple’s life. In other words, why it has become common to spats in a married relationship? I don’t think there is any couple in the world without a quarrel and fight. What is the actual cause or motive for quarrels in couples’ lives? Is it a concurrent cause initiated by the original or first family on this planet?
As we can see based on the above-indicated research studies couples’ constant fights and quarrels lead to bad health. According to the American Psychological Association, “about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.” But the reality is that the heart and other health diseases between the aforementioned quarrel and divorce are correlated in couples’ lives.
In addition, according to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC’s) Global Study on Homicide, of all women globally who were the victims of homicide in 2012, an estimated half were killed by intimate partners or family members. In the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), each year over 10 million women and men are victims of intimate partner violence.
Why married couples argue and quarrel? If it is a common or inherited habit in the world, then there must be a common deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), the hereditary material or genetic code in us. Moreover, as we can see based on the above-referred research studies and domestic violence statistic analysis results, it is a bad habit and should be avoided.
If this is a bad habit, then where did it come from? Did we inherit this habit from our first (Adam and Eve) family or parents? If so, when did they argue and quarrel? Did Adam argue with his wife Eve before eating a fruit from the forbidden tree (Gen. 3:6 NKJV)? What made him break the “only commandment” that God gave him not to eat the fruit from one tree (Gen. 2:17 NKJV)? Did they quarrel all the time about the forbidden tree’s fruit before and after leaving the Garden of Eden (Gen. 3:12-13; 23-24 NKJV)?
I’m sure Adam and Eve must have argued or quarreled with their decision to eat the forbidden fruit. This can be verified with their pointing fingers at each other when God questioned, who created both of them (Gen. 3: 12-13 NKJV).
I’m sure if a married couple finds themselves in a situation where one loses control of a serious decision-making task or responsibility, it may lead to constant arguments and quarrels in the family.
How to break this bad habit? Or are there any solutions to these issues? Since we inherited this bad trait from the first man and woman (i.e., Adam and Eve), whom God created; therefore, I think it is better to look for solutions from God who created us to eradicate this sinful nature. In fact, according to the word of God, quarrel is sin (Pro. 17:19 NKJV), and the causes of fights and quarrels come from our desires that battle with us (James 4:1-3 NIV).
Yes, this bad habit can be broken with the help of the last Adam, that is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. As Apostle Paul stated “For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ, all shall be made alive (1 Cor. 15:22 NKJV).” “And so it is written, the first man Adam became a living being. The last Adam became a life-giving spirit (1 Cor.15:45 NKJV).”
It’s my hope and prayer that with the help of “last Adam” we can break this bad habit.
Please share your thoughts, comments, and suggestions. Appreciated!
Disclaimer:
The opinions expressed in this blog post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of any organizations mentioned or affiliated with the author. The information provided is based on research, personal reflection, and interpretation, and should not be considered as professional advice. Readers are encouraged to verify information independently and consult with relevant experts or authorities as needed.
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